I was hungry, depressed, angry, sad and just had the wrong combination of bad feelings all together mixed and shaping my mood. All I needed was a little push and I would explode to a thousand pieces, and who can better give me this push than the closest people to me. It was one very stupid and hurting comment, and I went ballistic. But like always, those who know you best will do everything to make you more angry, so instead of shutting the hell up they decide they are going to stab me more...

I ended up roaming the streets like a mad man, talking to myself, cursing myself, the world and anything that passes by... God was it dark...
thinking about it now, I can barely remember where I walked, and blurry memories of people whom I know and greeted but were ignored. I remember that after a long walk I my anger vanished, but I was lift with bitter sadness and frustration. It wasn''t easy for me to draw some good memories, it seems as if all i could remember are bad events, times when others hurt me, times when I could see the empty half of life... moments like the one I was in at the time.

At this specific darkest moment, a ghostly image of my death passed in my mind. Death seemed a nice solution to all of my problems. The disturbing thought of death became a comforting one, and a achieving this peaceful state became easier than ever before.

I am still depressed and in a bad mood, I would never take my own life – let that who gave it to me take it when He wishes. But at the moment I honestly understand, but cannot accept, why some peopel take their own lives.

God have mercy, God have mercy, God have mercy.

May the Love of God be with you all,